Behind this smile

Behind this smile hides a lot of emotion
Emotions I cannot let lie and at times
Rise to the surface to be seen and heard
Emotions that are stuck in a great wall I've built can finally escape for that split second.
The illusion that my smiles shows is indeed indigent
But no one ever notices the falling.
Upon appearance, I am felicitous in life
But behind the smile a secret is buried deep, hiding, waiting to crawl its way out.
Feelings of negativity, no positivity
For positivity lost the bout.
Behind this smile I hold, is another person waiting to get out, crying for help but no one can hear.
The fear amounts to nothing as I think of the day that second being will break free and explain to the world what truths and secrets buried deep have left a mental scar around my soul.
Physical pain now feels like freedom, nothing more relaxing and pleasurable than wanting that second being to break free for that moment.
Physical pain is freedom because every slice I take of myself is letting a piece of that second me breathe.
Nothing compares to the internal pain I have! Thoughts scaring me and pulling me to pieces, as the immaterial part of me attempts to relieve me of my suffering; I'm infected by this great facade I have put on, not allowing the world to see me for me.
My pain will never be known, so I will forever hold my silence.